Daily Jokes April 30, 2009

Daily Jokes April 30, 2009



1. Funny Signs

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." **********

In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." **********

On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels **********

Sign on the back of yet another Septic Tank Truck: "Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises" **********

On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." **********

On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." **********

On a Church's Bill board: "7 days without God makes one weak." **********

At a Tire Store: "Invite us to your next blowout." **********

On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." **********

In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire & take appropriate action." **********

On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push." **********

At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." **********

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." **********

On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!" **********

At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." **********

Outside a Car Exhaust Store: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming." **********

In a Vets waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" **********

In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in & get fed up." **********

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait." **********

And don't forget the sign at a RADIATOR SHOP: "Best place in town to take a leak." **********



2. Blonde In Snowstorm

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero, when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to the parking lot and wondered how she was going to make it home.

She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her snowy situation. She then remembered her daddy's advice that if she ever got caught in a blizzard, she should wait for a snowplow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift. This made her feel much better and sure enough, in a little while, a snowplow went by and she started to follow it.

As she followed the snowplow, she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions. After quite some time had passed, she was somewhat surprised when the snowplow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signalled for her to roll down her window.

The snowplow driver wanted to know if she was all right, as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snowplow when caught in a blizzard.

The driver replied that it was okay with him and she could continue if she wanted, but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to Home Depot next.